Exhibit A: The Oreo

My inspiration. My connection to normal people everywhere. My savior.

I'm going a little overboard here.  I am not constantly carrying around a package of Oreos, contrary to popular belief. But these brown textured cookies that hold an enticing white cream (HIGH OLEIC CANOLA OIL AND/OR PALM OIL AND/OR CANOLA OIL, AND/OR SOYBEAN OIL) are what lead me to call myself a bad vegan.  I will say I don't break the vegan rules, or I don't break all of them - but I love a good "oops-it's-vegan" food.  It goes something like this...


Nabisco: What is the cheapest, easiest to preserve form of real cream we can put in a cookie?

Corporate Chef/Alchemist/Secret Vegan: Oil! (What he means: HIGH OLEIC CANOLA OIL AND/OR PALM OIL AND/OR CANOLA OIL, AND/OR SOYBEAN OIL - its just too hard to say that many 'and/or's' with an exclamation point at the end.)


I know, it makes no sense whatsoever, but when I see people eating M&M's, marshmallows, or you know what? Steak. When people are biting into big juicy, bloody steaks I reach for my Double Stuf. 


And I laugh and laugh and laugh. And then the other vegans scoff and decide to take me off their official mailing lists. But I still have oily cookie goodness, now in convenient football shape.